My Seat at the Table

After struggling with making some changes to a couple relationships in my life, I received this throat punch.....I mean this text from an amazing friend.

 "You'll stop accepting people's scraps when you hold out for a seat at the table."

My response was as follows:
Pretty sure I wasn't just accepting I was begging, seeking it out, vying for any attention I could get compromising myself and willing to accept and trying to be satisfied with attention that I manipulated from people and telling myself that it was love. People  that weren't  willing to even meet me with half of the same effort that I was putting into the relationships. Giving away parts of my heart and myself and my love, my trust, my money, and my time to people that weren't willing or able to give me the same. I refuse to beg or accept scraps anymore and I am determined to find my place at that table with those that are going to challenge me to be better version of me and closer to God not to be a better person or better at compromising my beliefs and who I am. The right people won't let me compromise.

So that being said, what areas of your life are you accepting scraps? What things are you doing or allowing, that if it was your best friend doing it would you slap them upside the head (or throat punch them in a text)? Do you need to demand a place at the table? God has promised us more than enough in EVERY area of our lives, but it is up to us to make the move from accepting scraps to sitting at the table.

Shards and Slivers of My Heart

My heart is shattered into a million pieces, the how and circumstances of it all is not the important part nor is it the reason that I am writing this. My heart is shattered into a million pieces but I know who is the Keeper of my heart. I know that each and every minuscule piece, shard, and sliver is accounted for and is in safe in His hands. I know that He will make it whole again. There will be nothing missing, nothing lacking, it will be whole. Sure, it will be changed. There will be lines and crevices where pieces are bound together with His healing and peace. The shape might be changed,  my heart won't be smaller it will increase, grow with the experience. It will be no less complete than before. It won't be hardened or calloused; it will be wiser, it will be renewed with the love and joy that only God can bring when I place my heart, slivers, shards, and all into His hands.

James 1:4 AMP But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be [people] perfectly and fully developed [with no defects], lacking in nothing.

 

Joel 2:12-13 NLT

¹² That is why the Lord says,
    “Turn to me now, while there is time.
Give me your hearts.
    Come with fasting, weeping, and mourning.
¹³ Don’t tear your clothing in your grief,
    but tear your hearts instead.”
Return to the Lord your God,
    for he is merciful and compassionate,
slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.
    He is eager to relent and not punish.

 

Psalm 51:16-17 MSG

Going through the motions doesn’t please you,
    a flawless performance is nothing to you.
I learned God-worship
    when my pride was shattered.
Heart-shattered lives ready for love
    don’t for a moment escape God’s notice.

What if I stumble....

I haven't just stumbled or slipped over the past couple of weeks, I have face planted over and over again, but here is what I know, I don't have to walk in shame or guilt. God's not like Santa, He doesn't keep a naughty and nice list, He doesn't count my mistakes, He doesn't hold them against me, and He will not bring them up ever again. If it's in the past 3 years, 3 days, or the last 3 minutes and you've asked for forgiveness He has no recollection of it. He has thrown it out. If we continue to walk in guilt and shame then we are denying ourselves the freedom, joy, and peace of Jesus, we are in essence denying Jesus and the price He paid for me and the sacrifice God gave for me. Yup, let that sink in for a minute. Don't miss out, walk in freedom knowing that you are fully forgiven, and do not let stumbling (or face planting in my case) convince you that you are disqualified from the race.
John 8:36 (AMP)
 So if the Son liberates you [makes you free men], then you are really and unquestionably free.