Exposure

I remember laying in bed the first night I was in the Philippines. It was crazy hot, I was in the middle of the jungle (okay, maybe not the jungle but it looked more jungle than anywhere else I had ever been), there were no windows and the crazy sounds coming from the lizards on the wall (yes, they make crying noises) it was all closing in on me. I started seeing shadows on the wall it looked like a snake and then I froze when I swear I saw the shadow of a lion on the wall. I started getting scared, I started doubting that I made the right decision to come, I started visualizing how I was going to die, I began freaking out, I had all sort of crazy thoughts, worst possible situations and horrible outcomes. I laid there for what seemed like forever and then finally I gathered the nerve to get up and turn on the light. It was a tree, the shadow of a fricking tree.

I learned a lesson that night, I lesson I still use almost 15 years later. Things in the dark are always scarier, when left in the dark the scarier and bigger they get but when you expose them to the light they aren't as scary.

This works for everything in my opinion, but for me it was all about my thought life. I have crazy, ridiculous, irrational thoughts for the first 30+ years of my life I kept all those thoughts to myself, they grew, gnawed, and crept into and took over every area of my life. These thoughts overtook my mind and consumed my heart. They fed on each other and became so consuming that I completely shut down. But a few years ago I remembered laying in that bed in the Philippines. I remembered the difference that exposure makes. I was at a point where I had almost given up hope and I knew I needed to do something drastic. I talked to someone I trusted and I exposed one of those thoughts, a tiny one. What I realized in that moment is that the moment that I exposed that thought, it was ridiculous, it lost its power. I started talking more, I started exposing more, and I began to be able to stand against the thoughts. I began to see them for what they were irrational, ridiculous lies. I still struggle and it's not easy but it is so much better.

 You have to speak to the thoughts you can't just keep it all inside because it just grows and becomes stronger and consuming and the longer it is kept inside the scarier it gets to expose it. I get it, I fully understand. Pastor Bill says that you cannot combat thoughts with thoughts you beat thoughts with words, with the Word. Follow me here: The Bible is God's word-->Jesus is part of God--> Jesus is the light--> thus we use God's word and the Light to combat the lies and the thoughts and the icky parts we keep hidden inside because we are to scared to expose it.

Do you have thoughts or habits or things you have had hidden inside of you for so long that they have consumed your life and your heart? For me the thoughts were ingrained in me, I was so consumed I just shut down. The longer you keep those thoughts in the dark, the bigger they grow, the more power you give them. YOU have to take action, combat them, speak to them OUTLOUD, speak the Word, speak life, expose them to the light. Because I honestly don't know that there is any other way to beat them.