True story, I have gone to church my entire life, every Sunday and Wednesday (minus the last 4 years). I confessed Jesus as my Savior when I was 10 at church camp and then figured out what that really meant around the age of 15. I have completed ministry trainings and served my heart out at the church that I truly considered my home since I was 16 years old and it was not until today that the words “I am a new creation in Christ” actually permeated into my heart and mind. I know the scripture (2 Cor 5:17), I’m sure that I have said it multiple times, I have prayed it over others and used it while ministering, but I never applied it to my own life…….until today. Today I am a new creation, I am a new creature, I am a new species, there is not another like me, and old things have passed away (they are dead, gone, adiosed, have left the building) and ALL things (my mind, heart, thoughts, words) have become new (different then before hopefully completely opposite than the old me).
Now don’t get me wrong, I love God and have for a very long time but somewhere along the line I just added God to the old Melissa and kept trucking along when I should have accepted the ability to be a new creation and instead of just adding God to the mix, I should have started a new life that was built with God as the foundation. However, I have never been known to do things the easy way. My thinking was probably along the lines of “I have always been a good person, have always gone to church, so what is there really to change?”. Well let’s see how about a completely irrational, degrading, and sad way of thinking about myself for starters.
So back to today, today I got up I made the decision to go to church, I got there and honestly all I really remember is Pastor Bill saying “I was a new creation, new species, there was not another like me” and it hit me, I mean like ton of bricks and turn all the lights in the house on hit me. This is why I have struggled for years because I could never let go of the old person and I always tried to just fit God into my life when I should have been building my life around him. I finally saw it as clear as day. So as I was driving home from church I pulled the car into the Takee-outee parking lot and prayed and I really prayed. It wasn’t one of those in passing prayers that is said because I told someone I would pray for them but it was core shaking, life changing, and completely honest communication with God. It was life renewing. I didn’t cry or fall apart but I felt this sense of peace that I haven’t ever felt before and then it hit, hope and love, I felt loved, truly loved which is something I haven’t felt in years and had the feeling, no I had the knowing of hope. Don’t ask me what hope feels like but I got it, lots of it!!! And no this just isn’t a weight loss thing, this is a Melissa’s life was pointless, sad, void of hope and then she heard a good word, had a revelation, and then reconciled with God and I know, that I know, that I know that God truly does have a plan and purpose for my life and it starts with me being a new creation!!
I just wanted to share this, there will be another blog post about me, church and the bitterness and shame that led to my 4 year “vacation” from God and everything social because I think it is important to share, but tonight I am just going to bask in the Amazingness of Jesus in the new me and the love that my Father has for me.
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